Sunday, June 23, 2013

Obama: "No More Excuses" on Immigration Reform

In response: 

No more excuses.  We weren't supposed to let eleven million of you in, but let's not worry about that right now.  We won't give you amnesty in the purest sense because  Americans already fell for that one.  We will give you a new type of sub-status called RPI ( Registered Provisional Immigrant).  The adjective "provisional" is defined as "arranged or existing for the present, possibly to be changed later".   

The deal is you will be lawfully registered laborers for the present and your statuses will possibly be changed later.  Right now "later" means ten years later.  If all goes as planned after we squeeze you for ten years more of labor you will be able apply for a "green card" and apply for citizenship three years after that!  ¡Qué suave! (How cool!)

Your statuses may well depend upon how many more billions of dollars we can soak US taxpayers for in order to line our cronies' pockets in the border security industries businesses.  You know the companies who make drones and surveillance systems.  We are also going to double the size of the border patrol.  That will give our skeptical voters reassurance that millions more of you won't sneak into the country again. 

Psst!  We  know that there is no stopping  great workers like you who hunger to put food on your tables and hunger for a better way of life for your families.  But let's just keep mum about that fact.  By the time anyone figures this all out we will all be retired and our friends will be filthy rich!

Special note to the Mexican undocumented:  although we don’t talk about it, we have a special relationship with you folks.  You make up over 50% of our undocumented.  President Clinton did this NAFTA deal with the wealthy folks in your country.  We ruined many small Mexican corn farmers' lives by dumping US corn into Mexico.  Our crony Wal-Mart also put many of your small business owners out of work (as it did in the US too).  Also we are sorry about all of the US owned border maquiladoras (factories) moving to China.  China pays lower wages.  ¡Así es la vida !  (That's life)! 

By the way, NAFTA exported many American jobs out of the US too.  Please don't feel bad;  you are not alone.  In fact many of you who came to the US after NAFTA will be getting RPI statuses - so we really didn't forget you.  As for those Americans who lost jobs because of NAFTA and because you all snuck into the US and took more of their jobs?  That's life!

It is too bad your filthy corrupt Mexican government does not provide equivalent wages and services to you back in Mexico.  But the Mexican economy needs your billions of dollars in remittances sent home yearly to Mexico.  WE need your cheap labor here too.  If it makes you feel better just know that the rich on both sides of the line share 1.25 billion dollars a day in cross border trade.  And dear old Mexico is our number two source of oil!  How proud you must be!  We are sorry that some of you must be sacrificed crossing the border.  Unfortunately both governments have to make it look like it is your faults for taking that risk.  Maybe Mexico will be so rich some day that your fellow citizens won't have to come here?

Finally, you know that we pushed your ex-Mexican President Felipe Calderon into "his" drug war in 2006.  Sorry about the 100,000 Mexicans who have been slaughtered  and the 25,000 who are still missing.  We know the majority of those people were innocent bystanders.  But Felipe had to pretend to show the world who was boss.   Psst!  We know that he works for the cartels too.  The majority of people in the Mexican government, military, law enforcement and judicial systems do too.  Felipe just wanted to use the Mexican army to hook up with Chapo Guzman (famous drug kingpin of the Sinaloa Cartel) and wipe out some of the competition.  Think of this as a corporate takeover -  Mexican style!

But not to worry!  We have fooled many Americans because they are too busy to educate themselves to the truth!  ¡Pendejos!  (Stupid asses!)   They think anything to do with the war against drugs is good for them!  ¡Pendejos!  Their corrupt government and cronies have been raking it in with the "drug war cash-cow" for over 40 years.  

There ain't no end in sight - Illegal drugs and illegal people!  ¡Pendejos!  ¡Viva Mexico! (Long live Mexico!)

Psst!  Ex-Mexican Drug War CEO/President Calderon is now working at our prestigious Harvard University as their First Angelopoulos Global Leader!  Americans think Felipe is a leader but we know he is directly responsible for so much death and suffering in Mexico.  Thank you Harvard!  Thank you Gianna Angelopoulos and Bill Clinton for taking care of Felipe!  Felipe is now speaking at crony Universities for $100,000 a speech!      




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